I'm drunk, third night in a row with my parsnts... Good times! I just moved into a new house all by myself. It's the best thing ever. And I have so many things I want to share but I don't know if I should. Maybe I should start getting better at confrontation in person rather than the I interwebz. I reeeeeralllllllyyyy. Doioooo. Likkkkeeeee. Lots of things!!! Hehehehe, but some in particular ;-) I think n house is haunted even tho I know the light is in a timer... It just turned on on it's own! My mom is sleeping and my dad is doing stuff and I'm about to pass out but I wish things... Oh welllllll. Love life and you all. I say more if I was more drunk and didn't care as much. But I care a lot about stuff. Maybe not what others thing of me so why should it matter? Why do I always say love you all when I don't even know some of you. My heart is an open door! I love everyone but right now my head is spun I g. Spinning. I love this feeling! I'm planning g something really cool and special! Isn't that cool?! I'd post music if I wasn't on my iPhone writing this but I am! Night lovers and reads. I love you all!!!! :) :) :)
xx. julie
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Evening found,
What if everything that we do in our life is just false. Can all of these things in our life really exist. I mean, happiness, love, compassion, mercy, hate, worry, alone, etc. They're emotions or feelings. But we determine the way we chose to express all of them. But what if we were wrong. What if it were all just in our imagination. Do we really exist. Are these things real. Are we real. I don't know. I don't know anything. Sometimes I feel like I know the world. Other times I feel like a little spec on a grain of sand. Emotionless, helpless, no sense of direction. I have no idea where I'm going in life, what I'm going to do, where I'm going to be. Sometimes I worry. What if. But at the same time I open my eyes to find what is and what could be. It's difficult when you can't see what's coming until it hits you smack right in between your two eyes. I want to be able to live without worry, without regrets, without anything. But I can't and I know I never will. Because sadly, that's part of life, but thankfully, that's part of the journey. Time to stop feeling so isolated and misunderstood. You're not the only one out there, everyone else is a little lost too. We all are. That's what brings us together; the hope that someone may find us or help us to find ourselves. Sleep tight tonight.
much love.
What if everything that we do in our life is just false. Can all of these things in our life really exist. I mean, happiness, love, compassion, mercy, hate, worry, alone, etc. They're emotions or feelings. But we determine the way we chose to express all of them. But what if we were wrong. What if it were all just in our imagination. Do we really exist. Are these things real. Are we real. I don't know. I don't know anything. Sometimes I feel like I know the world. Other times I feel like a little spec on a grain of sand. Emotionless, helpless, no sense of direction. I have no idea where I'm going in life, what I'm going to do, where I'm going to be. Sometimes I worry. What if. But at the same time I open my eyes to find what is and what could be. It's difficult when you can't see what's coming until it hits you smack right in between your two eyes. I want to be able to live without worry, without regrets, without anything. But I can't and I know I never will. Because sadly, that's part of life, but thankfully, that's part of the journey. Time to stop feeling so isolated and misunderstood. You're not the only one out there, everyone else is a little lost too. We all are. That's what brings us together; the hope that someone may find us or help us to find ourselves. Sleep tight tonight.
much love.
xx. julie
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Hi everyone,
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be you.
There's always something on your chest.
That you can't manage to put to rest.
Sometimes life feels like it is just a test.
But don't worry.
Sometimes the things that we try hardest to hide
Are exactly what we want to confide
Everything is done in time.
You can't fix something that is fine.
Life works in circles as you will see.
We all need some time to figure out exactly where we want to be.
_________________________________________________________________________________
It's a tough commitment to say that you'll change but sometimes you just have to take charge of the reigns, all negative thoughts aside and try to realize why you are keeping things the way they are. I used to complain but now I'm fine, it turns out that everything works out in time... It's best not to dwell on the past when you can take control of the future and steer it away from that big, bad past. But never forget, because those are the things in life that led you to be the person you are today; the desire to change was made upon past happenings. I hope that you can take with you what you may and try not to stay for too long. Please take care.
When I'm letting go and moving on I like to look back in song, hopefully you can listen along:
live on.
much love.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be you.
There's always something on your chest.
That you can't manage to put to rest.
Sometimes life feels like it is just a test.
But don't worry.
Sometimes the things that we try hardest to hide
Are exactly what we want to confide
Everything is done in time.
You can't fix something that is fine.
Life works in circles as you will see.
We all need some time to figure out exactly where we want to be.
_________________________________________________________________________________
It's a tough commitment to say that you'll change but sometimes you just have to take charge of the reigns, all negative thoughts aside and try to realize why you are keeping things the way they are. I used to complain but now I'm fine, it turns out that everything works out in time... It's best not to dwell on the past when you can take control of the future and steer it away from that big, bad past. But never forget, because those are the things in life that led you to be the person you are today; the desire to change was made upon past happenings. I hope that you can take with you what you may and try not to stay for too long. Please take care.
When I'm letting go and moving on I like to look back in song, hopefully you can listen along:
much love.
xx. julie
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Hello.
Today as I felt the crunch of fallen leaves beneath my feet while walking along the wet sidewalk I began think back on certain incidents in my life. One in particular flashed through my mind and stuck with me for the whole entire day. It's one of those memories that makes me shudder every time that I think about it, but at the same time it's one of those memories that you can't just let slip through the cracks... It happened. Up until lately I've been able to push it aside and hide it away but now it's been brought back to the surface and it's painful to remember. But as much as you can blame other people, you can't blame them without feeling some of the blame.
But on a happier note, I'm attempting to cool down my anger by listening to Jack Johnson and wishing that I had a cup of tea and rain outside. God, I'm so nostalgic for my youth. Always. I remember when I used to race home from school in the snow just to have a cup of hot chocolate in grade 10 and then in grade 12 I would race home after school before work and make popcorn and a cup of tea (weird combo I know) and watch some TV just to relax before I started my 5pm shift every Friday. Sometimes I wish that I could just go back to those exact moments but I know that I can't dwell in the past, sometimes I miss my parents, like who knows when I'll be back home again..? My life is so undetermined. And my hair is still flat, I wish it looked like Lisa Lobsinger's hair... So many thoughts go through my head and I can't just let them slip through the cracks and why do people complain so much. We have a great life, there are so many other people out there who have nothing and we have so much. Why would you bother complaining about something so miniscule.. You have clean water, a bed, food, school, etc. So please think before you talk. Thanks. Sorry. My head hurts. I love Jack Johnson on days like this... please, take me away. My brain needs to calm down. Waiting on love ain't so easy to do...
Enjoy the night. Don't stress yourself out. Everything will be OK.
Much love.
Today as I felt the crunch of fallen leaves beneath my feet while walking along the wet sidewalk I began think back on certain incidents in my life. One in particular flashed through my mind and stuck with me for the whole entire day. It's one of those memories that makes me shudder every time that I think about it, but at the same time it's one of those memories that you can't just let slip through the cracks... It happened. Up until lately I've been able to push it aside and hide it away but now it's been brought back to the surface and it's painful to remember. But as much as you can blame other people, you can't blame them without feeling some of the blame.
But on a happier note, I'm attempting to cool down my anger by listening to Jack Johnson and wishing that I had a cup of tea and rain outside. God, I'm so nostalgic for my youth. Always. I remember when I used to race home from school in the snow just to have a cup of hot chocolate in grade 10 and then in grade 12 I would race home after school before work and make popcorn and a cup of tea (weird combo I know) and watch some TV just to relax before I started my 5pm shift every Friday. Sometimes I wish that I could just go back to those exact moments but I know that I can't dwell in the past, sometimes I miss my parents, like who knows when I'll be back home again..? My life is so undetermined. And my hair is still flat, I wish it looked like Lisa Lobsinger's hair... So many thoughts go through my head and I can't just let them slip through the cracks and why do people complain so much. We have a great life, there are so many other people out there who have nothing and we have so much. Why would you bother complaining about something so miniscule.. You have clean water, a bed, food, school, etc. So please think before you talk. Thanks. Sorry. My head hurts. I love Jack Johnson on days like this... please, take me away. My brain needs to calm down. Waiting on love ain't so easy to do...
Much love.
xx. julie
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Hello friends,
On a more serious note... I haven't written anything in a while, but even when I'm not on here I'm still here, just on paper instead of this cyber-space. My journal is tathered and torn but it encloses my deepest thoughts other than those locked away in my own mind. Some of my thoughts are simple, profound, complicated, happy, sad, loving, hating (haha) and many more. (Sorry, the hating one just made me think of something written in my journal, never to be seen by anyone but me:) ) Anyways, needless to say these past few weeks have been rather dry in cyber-space but there has been a torrential downpour in my journal... And so now is the time for a fusion! Cyber-meets-journal. Could it be the start of something new? Love is in the air. Relationship? I think they may just fall in love, but only this time. They're more just fuck buddies I guess would be the proper term? Idk.. Urban Dictionary it! I tend to need to do that often.
Here it goes: In chronological order of the past two weeks...
1.
"sometimes
I wish that I were the sun.
It's always making peoples days.
It's bright.
It shines.
It is beautiful.
It is so many wonderful things."
2.
"I have no money.
But I can still manage the unknown."
3.
"Vancouver,
It's weird because I never imagined I would feel this. Kelowna is no longer my home. You are in my heart. And I don't even think that you realize how much you mean to me. I could very well be falling for you. Which is the most incredible feeling of life. Love, love, love <3
Let's just hope it won't fade too quick. Meow" Is it even possible to fall in love with a city? Because each and every day that I step out my front door I see an endless supply of opportunities in this city and it makes me feel love. Love is everywhere.
4.
"If I only had one week to live:
-life has no limitations
-I would love
-I would feel
-I would be an open book
-I wouldn't be sad.
-All things gold must come to an end
-I would be right here and now
-Nothing can hold me back
-Travel
-Love
-Hope
-Do not wallow in self pity
*Most important
Live your life to the fullest.
:)"
5.
This one is rather personal. I am not posting it. It's more of a musical ode. I'll post it in song and the rest can be decided by you.
....Opening my eyes...
If anyone is smart enough they could learn a bit about me. But that's for me to keep secret and others to guess.
_________________________________________
On another note, I've been thinking that drunken words really are sober thoughts and as horrible as it sounds sometimes I feel as if I should be drunk so that I would say more of the things that are on my mind, and there's one thing that's really getting to me but I have the worst wording of life. But when I am drunk everything comes out in verbal vomit that only half makes sense. So my problem is two-sided. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's really uncomfortable, but who am I to complain? I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too... But I'm the simple type. Things don't eat at me too bad, all I have to do is put in my headphones, lay down and zone out from the world and then I'm perfectly at home. Sometimes uncertainty is the most certain you can be. But I would rather be uncertain than be certain that it's not. Or be certain that I'm certain that it's certain to be certain when I'm changing subjects to make people forget what I'm saying cause I'm praying that I'm making sense when we stop making sense of the situation talking heads had a song like that and I'm like yeah I put my hand up blow my whistle lalalalalala! Hi. Meow. K. Sorry, ADD moment happened to me. Julie is back.
This one is for my old math teacher who sat beside me in Kelowna and sang along to every word straight from the heart. Because someday we may be gone but we'll still be here and everyone should be remembered for what they were.
And now the stars are shining, the night is bright and it's time for me to close my eyes and dream of all the things that go though my mind.
Take care and be yourself, don't over-think. You're exactly where you need to be. Much love.
On a more serious note... I haven't written anything in a while, but even when I'm not on here I'm still here, just on paper instead of this cyber-space. My journal is tathered and torn but it encloses my deepest thoughts other than those locked away in my own mind. Some of my thoughts are simple, profound, complicated, happy, sad, loving, hating (haha) and many more. (Sorry, the hating one just made me think of something written in my journal, never to be seen by anyone but me:) ) Anyways, needless to say these past few weeks have been rather dry in cyber-space but there has been a torrential downpour in my journal... And so now is the time for a fusion! Cyber-meets-journal. Could it be the start of something new? Love is in the air. Relationship? I think they may just fall in love, but only this time. They're more just fuck buddies I guess would be the proper term? Idk.. Urban Dictionary it! I tend to need to do that often.
Here it goes: In chronological order of the past two weeks...
1.
"sometimes
I wish that I were the sun.
It's always making peoples days.
It's bright.
It shines.
It is beautiful.
It is so many wonderful things."
2.
"I have no money.
But I can still manage the unknown."
3.
"Vancouver,
It's weird because I never imagined I would feel this. Kelowna is no longer my home. You are in my heart. And I don't even think that you realize how much you mean to me. I could very well be falling for you. Which is the most incredible feeling of life. Love, love, love <3
Let's just hope it won't fade too quick. Meow" Is it even possible to fall in love with a city? Because each and every day that I step out my front door I see an endless supply of opportunities in this city and it makes me feel love. Love is everywhere.
4.
"If I only had one week to live:
-life has no limitations
-I would love
-I would feel
-I would be an open book
-I wouldn't be sad.
-All things gold must come to an end
-I would be right here and now
-Nothing can hold me back
-Travel
-Love
-Hope
-Do not wallow in self pity
*Most important
Live your life to the fullest.
:)"
5.
This one is rather personal. I am not posting it. It's more of a musical ode. I'll post it in song and the rest can be decided by you.
_________________________________________
On another note, I've been thinking that drunken words really are sober thoughts and as horrible as it sounds sometimes I feel as if I should be drunk so that I would say more of the things that are on my mind, and there's one thing that's really getting to me but I have the worst wording of life. But when I am drunk everything comes out in verbal vomit that only half makes sense. So my problem is two-sided. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's really uncomfortable, but who am I to complain? I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too... But I'm the simple type. Things don't eat at me too bad, all I have to do is put in my headphones, lay down and zone out from the world and then I'm perfectly at home. Sometimes uncertainty is the most certain you can be. But I would rather be uncertain than be certain that it's not. Or be certain that I'm certain that it's certain to be certain when I'm changing subjects to make people forget what I'm saying cause I'm praying that I'm making sense when we stop making sense of the situation talking heads had a song like that and I'm like yeah I put my hand up blow my whistle lalalalalala! Hi. Meow. K. Sorry, ADD moment happened to me. Julie is back.
This one is for my old math teacher who sat beside me in Kelowna and sang along to every word straight from the heart. Because someday we may be gone but we'll still be here and everyone should be remembered for what they were.
Take care and be yourself, don't over-think. You're exactly where you need to be. Much love.
xx. julie
Aloe vera-one,
Nicole says my opening line is a bit of a stretch... I agree, but I'm drinking aloe vera juice, yum! I went to T&T market today and who the fuck gives a fuck that I bought tofu today, wow. K. Gaaaaaahhhh,,,
I LOVE MUSIC!
BUT MORE AT THE MOMENT...
I LOVE Lisa Lobsinger's hair!!!
Have you see it?!
OMGGGGGGG...
Yeah.
New idol.
(^took that 10/10/10)
I wish my hair looked like that...
I'm going to make a point on Monday to saturate my hair in hairspray and have it look like that, too excited! And if the rumors are true then she is 43 years old. I don't believe AOL though.. She has to be waaaaaay younger than that... I mean, look at her! So anyways, I kind of have no life so I spent all evening searching her on google and I found her other band Reverie Sound Revue, love! And they're Calgarian :) I remember the first time I saw her in person... Outside of Broken Social Scene's tour bus on October 10th 2010. She emerged from the bus with her hair perfectly messy and poofed to the extremes. Once her feet stepped onto the black asphalt she lit a cigarette and began practicing her vocals, I stood there in awe, trying not to look like a stalker who showed up to the concert 4 hours in advance in hopes of meeting the band (I have a deep love for Kevin Drew). Now was my chance. The most genuine people you will ever meet, they all hold a special space in my heart. God, there's so many things in my life. Broken Social Scene is probably the soundtrack of my life. For yesterday, today, tomorrow and every other day to come... until the day I die. But they are more; they are a family, they branch out; they are not just Broken Social Scene. They are KC Accidental, Feist, Metric, Stars, Apostle of Hustle, The Happiness Project, Reverie Sound Revue, Eight And A Half, Kevin Drew, Brendan Canning, etc... Everyday my song changes, every moment, each step, each breath, all my thoughts, all my dreams, everything. I love life! I could talk about this band for hours and hours but I won't bore anyone with my useless knowledge... Instead enjoy some music while I ponder what is going on in my social life and stuff like that.. :) I'll probs write more stuff in like an hour cause I'm bored. Here's all my BSS love:
There's so much beauty out there... Love love love.
Keep it alive.
Nicole says my opening line is a bit of a stretch... I agree, but I'm drinking aloe vera juice, yum! I went to T&T market today and who the fuck gives a fuck that I bought tofu today, wow. K. Gaaaaaahhhh,,,
I LOVE MUSIC!
BUT MORE AT THE MOMENT...
I LOVE Lisa Lobsinger's hair!!!
Have you see it?!
OMGGGGGGG...
Yeah.
New idol.
I wish my hair looked like that...
I'm going to make a point on Monday to saturate my hair in hairspray and have it look like that, too excited! And if the rumors are true then she is 43 years old. I don't believe AOL though.. She has to be waaaaaay younger than that... I mean, look at her! So anyways, I kind of have no life so I spent all evening searching her on google and I found her other band Reverie Sound Revue, love! And they're Calgarian :) I remember the first time I saw her in person... Outside of Broken Social Scene's tour bus on October 10th 2010. She emerged from the bus with her hair perfectly messy and poofed to the extremes. Once her feet stepped onto the black asphalt she lit a cigarette and began practicing her vocals, I stood there in awe, trying not to look like a stalker who showed up to the concert 4 hours in advance in hopes of meeting the band (I have a deep love for Kevin Drew). Now was my chance. The most genuine people you will ever meet, they all hold a special space in my heart. God, there's so many things in my life. Broken Social Scene is probably the soundtrack of my life. For yesterday, today, tomorrow and every other day to come... until the day I die. But they are more; they are a family, they branch out; they are not just Broken Social Scene. They are KC Accidental, Feist, Metric, Stars, Apostle of Hustle, The Happiness Project, Reverie Sound Revue, Eight And A Half, Kevin Drew, Brendan Canning, etc... Everyday my song changes, every moment, each step, each breath, all my thoughts, all my dreams, everything. I love life! I could talk about this band for hours and hours but I won't bore anyone with my useless knowledge... Instead enjoy some music while I ponder what is going on in my social life and stuff like that.. :) I'll probs write more stuff in like an hour cause I'm bored. Here's all my BSS love:
Keep it alive.
xx. julie
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Good morning,
From the first moment to the last, all the way through the middle and back over all again. Time is of the essence. I like to take it as it comes but sometimes it can feel like it's moving too fast or too slow. Those are the times when I appreciate it the most; I want to grab it, hold it, grasp it and never take it for granted because I never know when my time may end. Lately I've been feeling very grateful for all the happenings in my life, I never let them go unnoticed, good or bad. So here is your time to appreciate the world for what it's worth and do not take anything for granted, especially when it comes to time; don't let it pass you by.
Now let this music lead you to a better place...
much love.
From the first moment to the last, all the way through the middle and back over all again. Time is of the essence. I like to take it as it comes but sometimes it can feel like it's moving too fast or too slow. Those are the times when I appreciate it the most; I want to grab it, hold it, grasp it and never take it for granted because I never know when my time may end. Lately I've been feeling very grateful for all the happenings in my life, I never let them go unnoticed, good or bad. So here is your time to appreciate the world for what it's worth and do not take anything for granted, especially when it comes to time; don't let it pass you by.
Now let this music lead you to a better place...
much love.
xx. julie
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)